Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just forgot I was standing up.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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