I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
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