can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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