Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
You may now shotgun with the bride
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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