Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
