peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
