I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
then he tried to convert me to islam
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
