A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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