Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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