My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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