last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
