I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
