My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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