a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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