This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize