there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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