It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
