Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
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