Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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