OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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