can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
