Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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