ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
There's always time for handjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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