office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
