i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
