when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize