everyone is single if you try hard enough
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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