Plan B is the new Plan A
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
