I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Randomize
