The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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