i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize