I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
