PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
