Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
