I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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