As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
