I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
how drunk are you?
Several
I have tasted many bathrooms
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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