his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
