I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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