I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
