Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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