Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
