You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
