Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
