What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Is this like a preordered booty call?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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