Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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