I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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