i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
