I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
