i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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