im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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