at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize