The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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