so let's talk penis.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Randomize
