this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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