You made me cry and you don't even care
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
It was a blind-side dick pic.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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