I don't usually arrange sex via text message
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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