that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
