i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
