is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
