Got a toothbrush?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
