She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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