he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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