Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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