Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
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You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
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Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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