to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
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