so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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