so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
