did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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