he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
