I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
