I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
